Here I am all alone
And my day becomes night
The silence is so loud
It is noisier than a large crowd
It doesn’t stop, and I cry,
My fears manifest, is this my time to die?

Guns are firing, shot after shot
Way too many, and I mean a lot!
All of a sudden, I hear a pop-pop-pop
I fall to my knees
And I’m feeling great pain,
Will anybody notice me or
Even know my name?

Over time my life feels like a curse
I need my meds, not even a nurse
Will I live or will I die?
I’m being sent home
I don’t even know why!

Where is my home, what will I do?
Without my arm or my legs, I must learn everything new.

There is this fear of how I would change
How will I manage, what is my name?
Fear of no job, or will I heal?
Crazy from flashbacks what an ordeal.

Too many disabilities and a lot of stress
Too much red tape and rejections you know the rest.

I know I need help but who even cares
My mental, physical and emotional problems,
Are more than this vet can bear
Will I be able to forgive or forget
Will I ever get over my horrible nightmare dreams and sweats?

Will I ever be able to believe in myself
God Oh God where is this so-called help?
They tell me in counseling I need to forget
How is it possible?
I’m an American Vet.
No Government help
No family or friends
Yet I’d serve my country all over again!

I’ve bought a gun, for my lack of hope
My life is now over
This is no joke!